Complicated question so answers most likely will be complicated but would like to hear of your opinions.
Do you think overprotective parents strain child development of the personality trait to be responsible and self-reliant, or do you think it is good for the parents to protect the child and handle their conflicts and enemies for them?
- I’m asking this question because counselors have told me that the children who were guarded by overprotective parents most of their lives, or early on ended up mentally handicapped to conflicts and have not fully developed the ability to take care of themselves.
But please, just hear me out on my experiences and observations and bear with me on this. My dad, isn’t that overprotective, early on in childhood he encouraged me to try things that I wanted and to develop my own view of life, but still to have the basic good values, hard working, respect for others, etc. Whenever I have done a bad action throughout my life, he would never get mad, but just explain to me and he would be really calm with me, since he trusts me and I’ve felt closer and more open to my father since childhood. We have a good relationship, eventually I became receptive towards his lessons and have reflected on them. My mom, however, was the opposite type, always wanting to get into any of my online accounts, wanting to know all my friends, always getting angry when I admitted something, said it was for “the love of parenthood.” Throughout my whole life I have gone distant from her and never have shared anything personal, nor did she receive any information for what she requested. My uncles have the same view as my father and I feel close to them to.
I’ve also had a difficult childhood, I was constantly beaten up daily from Kindergarten to about 8th grade. My mom would always tell me to never fight back no matter what, my dad was the opposite, he told me conflicts make you stronger because you always try new things towards your enemies and learn what works and what doesn’t work. But these bullies were the type that would never stop bothering you, not even if you told you parents so for that reason I’ve been in a lot of fights. Most of my friends that have overprotective parents act lazier, become overwhelmed by problems easier or give up a lot faster, and have a weakened view of battle. Example, some tell me they have problems since they’re friends keep spreading gossip about them and they don’t like it, I tell them to leave their friends and find better ones, then they say “But that’s not nice.” Another example, when it comes to online I have a friend who has a very overprotective parent, they protect her from all conflict, that their minds become poor at predicting the worse outcomes from anything, she made a Facebook, put all her very personal information, had all her pictures with her, then some very devious, immoral people became enemies with her, and edited her pictures to make her look like a hooker (which she was not), and befriended all her friends and got personal information about her that was used against her, and eventually got all her friends to turn against her. She was later raped, because she believed “People are not like that, people are not mean.”
When it comes to trust I find that the people who don’t have overly protective parents, but taught them to be good early age ended up very close to their parents, than the overprotective, demanding ones that invade privacy and try to snoop every detail of their life.
But when it comes to my personality I’ve always been the most mature one, never argue, since I’ve always seen so many people argue that it almost never persuades the other person. People believe they are masters of their own opinions. And can see every possibility, even the ones that most people never think of, both good and bad in any situation. When it comes to enemies though I mostly wonder in surprise “Do they really not know what to do?”
But then again I live in a gang city, people here are always dying almost every other night, and fighting is everywhere here almost every day. Compared to some of my friends with overprotective parents, they live in a peaceful place, where everyone knows each other, though there are crimes, they’re the ones that tell me that people aren’t like that, that nothing bad will ever happen to them, it eventually does and it makes me saddened as a friend.
OK to all the parents (if you are one) I’d like to hear about your views please. Remember this is just my experiences, and observations, there are more but I feel I am talking too much and you wouldn’t want to read this all. I just ended up being the most responsible in the group, most open minded (but I was always an open minded person), and most self-reliant.
Please be brutally honest, full of insults if you hate my post. It’s very welcomed for me. I feel I’ve gone too far and it’s possible people may think I’m crazy or being dumb. Conflict becomes an addiction, th
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